Saturday, March 2, 2013

19 Stupid Questions About the Fast



19 Stupid Questions About the Fast

1.  If I stay up all night watching movies and eating popcorn, eat a good breakfast before sunrise, and sleep all day, am I a good Bahá’í?
2. If I smoke marijuana, but do not inhale, am I breaking the Fast?
3.  If I eat something by mistake, but then go to the bathroom and throw it up, am I breaking the Fast?
4.  If I just stand over the stove and smell the cooking for just fifteen minutes, am I breaking the Fast?
5.  If I eat just to please the non- Bahá’ís in my company to show that I am not a fanatic, does this count?
6.  If I just eat while keeping my eyes closed, is this eating during daylight?
7.  If I think I might be pregnant, can I just eat until I get the results of my pregnancy test?
8.  If I cough up phlegm, then swallow it, am I going to hell?
9.  If I take to subway to work, can I have a coffee and doughnut before I enter into the daylight?
10.  Can my best friend just fast for me today?
11.  I get bad breath during the Fast.  Can I just use a little wine as a mouthwash?
12.  I just turned fifteen on March 3 – do I get to wait until next year?
13.  I’m time travelling for a school project, and I’m sure it will take more than nine hours.
14.  My cat just died.  I don’t want its leftover food to go to waste.
15.  For my 60th birthday March 13, my family is flying in for the weekend, but have to leave on the 5:00 plane.  No cake for me?
16.  I’ve been waiting all year for the lobster 2-for-1 lunch special! I’m a poor guy and it’s my girlfriend’s favourite, and it’s our anniversary!
17.  I want to celebrate the Guardian’s birthday in style – he deserves it!  Well?
18.  If I don’t gain five pounds in these last three days of the Fast, I won’t fit into my special Naw-Ruz dress – now we wouldn’t want that, would we?
19.  The expiry date on my yogourt is already one day past.  What shall I do?

2 comments:

dulcimer05 said...

Hi Geza. I wonder why all the obligatory observances. It sounds like "working your way to Heaven". God doesn't want works- He wants FAITH.

Geza said...

The only absolutely obligatory observances in the Baha'i Faith are the daily prayer, and the month of fasting. Everything else is voluntary (though we don't get the benefits if we ignore them.)